Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Good Talk, Weirdos.

It's been interesting, to say the least, to get to know my parents as a couple. When we were growing up they were both so focused on the family that I never really thought of them as a team of two. It was only the two of them as they related to me and my sisters. They were part of a 5-person team. Does that make sense? And because of the insane hours a farmer works, date nights for my parents were about as common as meteor showers. The smell of cologne in our house always meant something exciting was happening because my father only ever wore it when he and Deb were going to go out for dinner together. To this day, the smell of cologne still makes me think something exciting is happening.  When I lived with Raf in San Francisco, every morning I'd smell his cologne in the bathroom and ask, "What's going on?!" He'd just look at my flatly and say, "I'm going to work." 

Lately when I call my parents (which I've been doing because of the serious LACK of phone calls on their end) I've been greeted by a fast run-down of their recent adventures, dinners they've had, plans they're making, and then quickly rushed off the phone. "OK, Jess. We love you. Talk soon."

These calls always end with my staring at the phone thinking, "Um, excuse me. I hang up on you. I rush through the weekly calls. Did they even ask me what I've been up to?! What the hell is going on?"

Often when I call home, my mom and dad will answer at the same time on two different phones, and then my dad will stay on the line, commenting throughout the call. The last time this happened, he started to replay an inside joke between the two of them and then Deb started to chime in, and they both started laughing, talking louder over each other, until they were both laughing hysterically on two different phones in the same house, as I stood waiting for the train, listening like an idiot, realizing that I wasn't a necessary part of the conversation.  
Me: OK, well I have to go.
Deb & Steve (laughing): OK, so do we.
Me: No, I really have to go. So I'm hanging up now. 
Deb & Steve: No, we really have to get going too. Bye. [click]
Me: What the what?

Don't get me wrong. It's cute. Kind of. And I love that my parents have inside jokes. It's weird, but it's nice. But when I talked to them on Sunday, my mom interrupted me by asking, "Do you hear that?" 
"Hear what?"
"Do you hear that noise?"
"No, what is it?"
"Well I'm on the sofa in the family room, and your father is pushing it into the kitchen."
"Dad's pushing you around on a sofa?"
"Yes. I'm on the kitchen phone and he doesn't want to cord to stretch."
"He's going to scratch the floor doing that."
"He doesn't seem to care."
"Right. Well enjoy your sofa ride. I think I'm--"
"Oh, sorry, I'm getting a beep.

Seriously, who are these people?


nessa said...

ahhh date nights for mom and dad were fantastic. I remember I used to pick out dads outfits and look at him with envy when he got to wear a that weird??

Sister!! I miss your face

Lauren Quinn O'Neill said...

I often think similar things of my parents, the difference being that when I call my mom and ask to talk to my dad she tells me to call him on his cell, they apparently live in separate corners of the same house.

Also, Liz canceled, I don't have your number somehow, so I am still going to John's opening, let me know what you are up to if you get this.

Jess said...

Ness, you know I could watch John Roberts videos all day long.

Lauren, I shot you a text. challah back. i think pre-show drinks with Alex and Amalia? and John said maybe something after. Come with!

Lauren Quinn O'Neill said...

Jess, unfortunately no texting, little sis shut if off, you can call me though....:(

Brina said...


Amalia said...

This is the most adorable story.

And don't worry Jess, even though Mommy and Daddy have a different kind of relationship now, it doesn't mean they don't still love you very much.

Jess said...

Bri, took me about 30 seconds to get that. Hilarious.

Amalia, while I find it absolutely endearing that you call your father daddy, you have no idea how hard everyone in my family would laugh at the thought of me calling my parents mommy and daddy.

No idea.

I dont knwo what you heard about V... said...


"save mommy a chicken wing" -jess martin circa 2003 Planet Hollywood NIAGARA FALLS


and I still dont get the garfield comment and feel left out...

Jess said...

One of my favorite quotes of all time.

I bet myself $300,000 that you would say that.
I'm glad you did, because I'm not sure how that would have worked in terms of payment.