Do yourself a favor and watch the commercial. You can't make this stuff up.
Because old aprons weren't instant enough, we bring you the Instant Apron! Literally saving you seconds in the kitchen, the Instant Apron is the cooking garment choice of complete morons! What's the hardest part about preparing a meal? Why, trying to fit your fat face through an apron hole, of course! The Instant Apron erases all of that! You'll feel more confident around sharp knives, hot ovens, and gas ranges when you're no longer struggling to tie yourself into a piece of cloth for 35 minutes. The Instant Apron is fire resistant and it needs to be! Chances are if you're wearing this, you have no f*cking clue what's going on. And the Instant Apron makes a great gift! Nothing says, "Here, idiot!" quite like the Instant Apron. Impress your friends with your style! The Instant apron comes in many exciting pattern choices such as, "Cow" and "Mediterranean." The "Elegant Black" Instant Apron is so elegant, you can wear it to fancy events. Think of the time savings there! So if you're the type of person who makes blended milk for your family's dinner, call now!