Always the bridesmaid

I don't get weddings. I suppose i understand the whole idea behind marriage but since most of the nation defines it as a union allowed only between a man and a woman, i'm inclined to find the whole thing a little silly. Like a sign of exclusion kids have tacked onto their tree fort, "No -- whatever -- allowed." OK fine, have your little club.
But people i love keep getting married so i'm not going to snub them just because i think it's ridiculous. I think balloon animals are pointless but i've never once passed up an inflated latex poodle. (how do they get that little ball on the tail?? i love that tail ball.)
Anyway, when i called my lifelong friend beth a few months ago, she answered the phone all flustered.
"can i call you back?"
"you sound nervous, are you ok?"
"shane is proposing."
which was followed by me cursing her out for answering the phone at such an inappropriate time until i realized i was ruining the moment for them and hung up.
when i called a mutual friend to tell her how crazy i thought this was she answered the phone whispering.
"why are you whispering?"
"i'm in the movies."
What's wrong with these people?!!
So beth asked me to be a bridesmaid which was super nice, and a little weird at the same time. we grew up together, so i think of all the little kid stuff we did, and now she's getting married, which seems like the most adult thing you can do. 2-year cellphone contracts freak me out. standing up there while she's being all grown up is going to be a true test of my maturity. good thing i'll be wearing the same thing as six other girls, it'll do a lot to establish me as an adult.
Could someone explain the bridesmaid dress thing?? I don't understand. If these are the people you're closest to, why would you make them all wear the same dress? Isn't that the big thing we're trying to avoid at parties? last year before my cousin's wedding i went into maxstudio and tried on the most ridiculous dress just because i thought no one else would have it. it had so many layers and straps it should have come with directions, and being the fashionista that i am, i got stuck in it. Seriously. arms above head, dress half on, head stuck in layers of material. For 20 minutes, trying to wiggle my way out of it, sweating profusely, hiding the fear in my voice when the sales people came by to check on me, until i honestly started to freak out. I was picturing how i could leave the store, without actually being able to see, no pants on, dress covering my upper body, hands in the air, without anyone noticing. Long story short, i had to be pulled from the dress, it ripped, i paid for it. You don't know humiliation until a stranger is pulling you out of a dress asking how you'd like to pay for it. And that's why i blush every time i see a maxstudio ad.
But i just got the pics of what we're wearing for beth's wedding, and to my complete relief, no straps. 'Cuz i love her and i wouldn't want to ruin her special day being the bridesmaid with the dress around her face.