Friday, October 29, 2010

Wait For It.

I don't like and/or recognize the greedy part of me that comes out to play when I make a bag of popcorn. Always exceeding the recommended microwave time, I wait anxiously by the glowing window watching the bag inflate the way a day-trader monitors the fluctuating markets. 

Pop, Pop. Buy, Sell.

As the time between pops increases, I hold out pressing stop, convinced that I can get one more kernel to morph. 

Pop. 
YES!
....
....
Pop!
Yes!
...
...
...
....
Stop now?
Pop.
Yessss!

This butter-coated belief that I can somehow outsmart the good people at Orville Redenbacher almost always leads to a burnt bag. 

Unrelated note: The other day at work a customer told Tara he was allergic to microwaves.

2 comments:

Amalia said...

Maybe it's because my vacation is around the corner, but work customers have been extra rough this week.

Top three, just from yesterday:

"This sausage doesn't look enough like sausage. Can I have some that looks more like sausage."

"I want a cup of soup. But can you put it in a bowl so it's easier to eat. And add extra broth."

"The door to the bathroom is too heavy. If I get trapped in there I'm filing a lawsuit!"

Have I mentioned I have 4 more days until my vacation? Sigh.

Jess said...

Amalia, that just made me laugh out loud so hard.

I'm crying a little.

Also, I'm so jealous of your vacation I can't stand it.

You're going to have weeks of conversations like this:
Tara: If you could have any wild animal as a pet, what would it be?
Me: Umm, I don't know. Baby tiger, I guess. But I wouldn't want it to grow into a big tiger because I'd be scared of it. What about you?
Tara (Shrugging and nodding like the answer was obvious): Penguin.