Friday, October 29, 2010

Wait For It.

I don't like and/or recognize the greedy part of me that comes out to play when I make a bag of popcorn. Always exceeding the recommended microwave time, I wait anxiously by the glowing window watching the bag inflate the way a day-trader monitors the fluctuating markets. 

Pop, Pop. Buy, Sell.

As the time between pops increases, I hold out pressing stop, convinced that I can get one more kernel to morph. 

Stop now?

This butter-coated belief that I can somehow outsmart the good people at Orville Redenbacher almost always leads to a burnt bag. 

Unrelated note: The other day at work a customer told Tara he was allergic to microwaves.


Amalia said...

Maybe it's because my vacation is around the corner, but work customers have been extra rough this week.

Top three, just from yesterday:

"This sausage doesn't look enough like sausage. Can I have some that looks more like sausage."

"I want a cup of soup. But can you put it in a bowl so it's easier to eat. And add extra broth."

"The door to the bathroom is too heavy. If I get trapped in there I'm filing a lawsuit!"

Have I mentioned I have 4 more days until my vacation? Sigh.

Jess said...

Amalia, that just made me laugh out loud so hard.

I'm crying a little.

Also, I'm so jealous of your vacation I can't stand it.

You're going to have weeks of conversations like this:
Tara: If you could have any wild animal as a pet, what would it be?
Me: Umm, I don't know. Baby tiger, I guess. But I wouldn't want it to grow into a big tiger because I'd be scared of it. What about you?
Tara (Shrugging and nodding like the answer was obvious): Penguin.