Tuesday, March 02, 2010

$2 Bill.

Awhile ago at work a customer paid for his check using only 2-dollar bills, and because I'm easily amused, I thought this was pretty awesome. I excitedly ran over to Lauren and asked if she wanted one. "Hey, do you want to switch out two singles for a $2 bill? I think they're kind of lucky, right?"

Apparently her boyfriend also has lots of $2 bills, so she wasn't as impressed, but still, she took one, because they do feel kind of lucky. And a cute young couple at the counter overheard what I was saying and asked to buy one off me because they'd just put an offer in on a house and hey, a $2 bill couldn't hurt the process. 

So I've been keeping mine in the top zippered left pocket of my jacket. I like my outwear to have lots of pockets because that's where I keep all the fun stuff I don't want to throw away. Notes to self, or lists, or good fortune cookie fortunes, or stupid things that I think will bring me luck, like a $2 bill. Trying on an old jacket and going through the pockets is like opening a time capsule for me.

Anyway, I was running late yesterday and as I heard the train approaching at the station, I quickly tapped my card to run through the gate. A buzzer sounded. Grr. I tapped the card again, running in place the way you do to let the universe know that you're in a hurry and it should stop messing with you, but again, the buzzer. After 3 more tries and missing the train, it occurred to me that it was the first of the month, and I needed a new pass.  Blerg.

I immediately cut to a visual of me throwing my credit card in the bowl on my desk that morning. Why had I done that? I forget, but I knew I didn't have it on me. OK, cash. I ran to the ticket machine and started feeding it. Hearing trains come and go, I tried not to rush putting the bills in because everyone knows that as soon as you start that, they're just going to spit right out. Machines that accept cash are very sensitive to being hurried and fight back the only way they know how.  So I tried to stay calm, feeding it bill after bill, until I looked into my wallet and found that I was $4 short. OK, check the pockets, I thought. 

Bottom right pocket- Burt's Bees, keys, 34 cents, a business card.
Bottom left pocket- Phone, 6 dimes.
Inner right pocket- gum, notes.
Inner left- always completely clean so my wallet is easily accessible. 
Shit.
I knew where I had to go. 

Reaching into the top left pocket I felt the crisp folded $2 bill and made a light grumbling noise, upset that I'd have to part with it. Still two dollars short though, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. However, reaching into the pocket a little more, I actually found two more singles! I'm telling you, lucky! I fed the singles into the machine and just as I was about to throw the $2 bill in there, I noticed the $1, $5, $10, $20 sign on the machine. It wasn't going to take my lucky money. Really late now, I asked a group of people standing nearby if they had any singles. 

"I'll switch you for this $2 bill," I said. "I just need the singles because the machine won't take it."
Taking out his wallet and handing me two bucks, a guy about my age said, "Happy to help." Then turning to his friends he added, "These are good luck!" 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

And at that point in the movie, as you pull out the contents of your bottom right pocket, the perfectly placed Burt's Beeswax logo will lay poised upon your open palm.

Product placement at its best!! You, my friend, might have a boatload of injera sweaters coming your way.

Jess said...

Maybe too short for a movie. A commercial, for sure. But it'll be one of those commercials that people are like, "What was that a commercial for? The US Treasury? Public Transit? What--chapstick? Are you serious? That was dumb."

But they'll probably reach for their Burt's straight away because it's hard for people not to use their chapstick when they see someone else use it.

Also, you're funny.

Sabrina said...

Sorry about your $2 bill Jess. I'll send you a rabbit's foot. (How GROSS were those things? GAH! I had like 8 of them. Neon. Like all the neon rabbit's in brockport, ny.)

Jess said...

"Pull over, I'm going to be sick."
"Good lord, what did you eat?!"
"Highlighters."

Ask Jacob about this if you ever see him.