Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Go To The Mattresses.

In an ill-advised move, this couple attempted to transport a mattress by subway. I don't need to list for you the problems involved with such a decision. You're bright. You can figure it out. 
However, one thing I had not anticipated was a good old-fashioned couples argument taking place on both sides of the full-size mattress. 

Moving large objects can be hilarious, but mostly stressful, so I understand how having a mattress on the subway might breed the latter. But the first rule of carrying large items is, "Be nice to the person helping you carry large items." If you forget this one, you're likely to find yourself stuck halfway up a stairwell holding your end of an armoire. Fighting while moving is a classic opportunity for the offended party to walk three feet to the left and demand a thoughtful apology. Unfortunately, all apologies in these instances sound like this: "I'm sorry, baby! Now this is incredibly heavy and going to fall so get over here, idiot!" 

The girl in this photo, while tiny, was an important part of the mattress transport operation. It's a two-person job. But in anger and protest, she took a seat away from boyfriend as he yelled about missing their stop, that he was sorry, that she was being immature, that he would never forgive her, and that if the mattress ever made it out of the train, she couldn't use it. 

What's that line about never going to bed upset?


v said...

"excuse me, my friend....How Git me to Wvest Kennedy BLVD?!?"

Jess said...

Seriously was thinking about that as I typed this.

Turkey roll-up?