Monday, May 10, 2010

YES! Wait, I mean, No!

Throughout this incredibly long process of trying to get my first book published, I've come to understand very little about the publishing industry. Good news is usually delivered by phone, bad news usually arrives via email disguised as positive news, and if they seriously mean no, they'll say nothing. 

It's not unlike my sad attempts at dating. 

So whenever my agent sends me editor rejections, I end up feeling good for a few minutes before realizing, "Oh, right. They said no." And then I become confused by the comments and start reading into things thinking, "Well maybe they actually meant..." until it occurs to me once more, "They said no."

Again, this isn't so far removed from, well, you get it. 

This is the most recent "no." Many of these rejections have been so nice I almost feel like putting them on the fridge. 

Penn,
 
Thank you so much for sending me Open-Eyed Sneeze. Jessica Martin is, without a doubt, one of the funniest, most delightful and ultimately endearing writers I’ve come across. I instantly connected with her story and that panic that slowly creeps in after college graduation. This was an absolute pleasure to read. With all that said, however, I’m sorry to say that despite this memoir’s merits, I’m afraid I don’t see a big enough audience for Hyperion to continue pursuing. From the bottom of my heart, I wish I had better news. 
 
I hope you have better luck with other houses. If in the future, Jessica’s platform grows and she’s still writing, I’d love to see her work. 
 
With all the best,
Kate 


This one left me wondering, so what's the problem? We don't have to go steady! Let's just make out a little!  

Note: I was just working off the dating analogy there. We were all on the same page for that, right? 
(sigh.)

5 comments:

MFB said...

stupid publishers. they'll come around.

so sorry to hear your dating life is so sad right now! i've got a great girl in mind for you though! :)

Sabrina said...

Jessica Martin is, without a doubt, one of the funniest, most delightful and ultimately endearing writers I’ve come across.

Jess -- that is GREAT! And we that know you agree! Just build up your fan club now, and get your writing OUT THERE. Do you remember the troll doll fan club that flourished in the 80s? If the troll dolls can do it, so can you!

Love you sister! xoxo

Anonymous said...

The way to literary rockstardom is through Oprah. We need to make a documentary (with our sweet TRF skillz) about your personal quest to get your book in front of Oprah ala "My Date with Drew" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0378407/plotsummary . Then you'll have a hit book and a hit documentary on your hands at the same time and you can compose a form letter back to all of those publishing houses with the words "suck it" in 14 point font (any larger would just be rude).

Jess said...

Meredith- Thanks, but I think I'm all set for the moment.

Sister- I don't remember that fan club. It scares me that you do. Either way, thanks for the encouragement:)

Meg- I LOVE that idea. LOVE it! You're hilarious, and yes, 14 point font is just right. Italics or bold?

Anonymous said...

If you're going to put Italics...it should only be the "Suck" part of the letter.

To really emphasis what you want them to do, you know?