Clearing some space on the blanket for a large gift box, Andrea surprised me by saying she had a belated birthday present for me. The girl's got a sense of humor that totally appeals to me so I smiled wondering what sort of joke gift waited inside.
She didn't disappoint. This is what I found.
It was a Buddha Hand and a remote. The gift that keeps on giving.
Andrea: Do you know what that is?!!
Me: It's like a lemon, right?
Andrea: How did you know that? The woman at the grocery store was like, 'How am I supposed to ring this up?'
Anyway, we got a good laugh out of it and the next morning when we were heading out to brunch, Andrea stopped me at the door and said, "Don't forget your lemon!" She had fashioned a leash out of a belt and asked me to walk it down the street. "You know what they say. When life gives you a lemon, put it on a belt and walk it."
It was an excellent point. So I did.
There is no way for me to accurately describe the public response to the lemon on a leash. People were appalled. Seriously. I received so many dirty looks, people in cafes shook their heads at me and glared, parents held their children tighter to them, and dog owners pulled their buddies on leashes away from mine. At least six different people asked me if it was an octopus, to which I replied, "Yes. Yes it is."
Sabrina's been having a lot of fun with the fact that so many people have been calling me "sir" lately, and she came running up to me laughing saying she overhead someone say, "That guy is walking an alien."
One woman stopped and asked to pet it. Only one older couple knew it was a lemon and asked me if I was making a statement.
Me: No, just walking it.
Andrea: When life hands you lemons...
And then the two older people burst out laughing before walking away.
At one point, Brina started screaming and pointed to a Food Emporium truck stopped at a red light that had two giant Buddha hands on it. What are the chances? I ran over to the truck, holding my leashed Buddha hand up to the driver, smiling like an idiot. He just waved flatly. Is it possible he gets that a lot?
Anyway, it was a nice New York moment. Thanks, A.