Saturday, December 18, 2010

Grab Bag.

Just a little of everything.

-My roommates and I decorated the tree the other night with homemade paper snowflakes, purple garland from the dollar store, candy canes, and two pig ornaments. Stepping back together to look at it, Kathleen tilted her head and asked, "Why does it look so...nice?"

-Home Alone is a perfect movie. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is a slap in the face to the original. 

-Someone was arrested on the bus I took home from work the other night. A cop pulled the bus over, boarded the bus, and arrested a kid for tagging something with spray paint. I'm sorry, but can you think of a worse getaway car than a MBTA bus?! Especially the 66?! It stops like every 10 feet. What was that fool thinking?

-I thought as I grew older, the people in the Olive Garden commercials who laugh for no reason would annoy me less. It turns out the opposite is true. 

-People put their bananas in produce bags at the grocery store. I see them do it. Why do they do it?

-I learned how to tie a bow tie and I'm quite pleased with myself. For some reason I always thought that was something everyone should know how to do. Just in case. 

-I'm digging on the Miniature Tigers right now. If I had a car I'd drive around listening to them today.

-If I hold the door open for a mother with a stroller, I'm not a door person. If you're behind the mother with a stroller, and you're not a child, and you don't have a stroller, hold the door for yourself. 

-Furthermore, people in revolving doors, we're in this together. Push! I'm not going to push the whole door for you.

-I've been thinking a lot about doors lately.

-My buddies at work had the best conversation about games the other night. Electronic Mall Madness, Girl Talk, CrossFire, and Dream Phone. Do you remember Dream Phone? It should have been a huge red flag for me as a child that I shuffled through the cards of hot guys looking for a girl. 


MFB said...

Jess (adjusting bow tie after reaming out a jerk at a bar): I'm a LADY.

i like-like you. and i LOVE this picture! :)

Lauren Quinn O'Neill said...

Jess, I love the bow tie and you look fabulous! I bought Geoff a purple plaid one for Christmas, he opened it last night!

You two can be self-tying bow tie buddies!

Jess said...

Lauren, not gonna lie, Geoff is sort of my style icon.

Gluten-free Lindsey is having a party tonight. are you guys free??? if not, let's please please please chill soon.

Lauren Quinn O'Neill said...

Aww, I know, she sent me an invite, but my sister is in town and we have plans!

Something has to happen soon though, I miss you guys!

sreghitto said...

I learned how to tie a bow tie this fall.. Not an easy task! I will tell you the cute story that goes with it later :) Great photo!

hjs said...

Amazing picture~ you're delightful Jess

Gordon said...

1. you are without a doubt the funniest writer i know.
2. the bow tie looks pretty good - i, however, am a ballroom dance instructor, so i'll show you how it's done sometime.
3. what was three? shit.