Now Boarding All Rows.

You know how they let First Class passengers board the airplane before everyone else, even though that makes no sense whatsoever? What kind of person wants to spend any more time than necessary on a plane? Plus, putting people at the front of the plane first is what causes all those awkward aisle delays.  Half step, stare at aisle number.  Half step, hide annoyance as someone can't lift their carry-on into the overhead.  Half step, try to figure out who you're going to be sitting next to and pray it's not one of those selfish businessmen who sit with their legs wide open and never lift their arm off the armrest. (Either we split it, or no one gets it!) 

I recently heard the slow procession of Coach passengers through First Class described as The Poor Parade.  When you get over the fact that it's mildly insulting, it might help explain why First Class passengers are so eager to board a smelly plane first and sit there while row after row of half-stepping people shuffle past them.  I've never sat in First Class but I imagine there's some sort of sick satisfaction experienced while watching the parade.  Like when the electronic door at a store is broken and you stand there for a second, jog in place a bit, and finally decide to use the regular door right next to it.  When it happens to you, it's kind of annoying, but if you were to sit there and watch 100 people deal with that broken electronic door, it might be amusing.