My Super Sweet 16 And The End of America.

There's something about the way MTV programming is edited that I don't mind watching the same episode of 8th and Ocean six times.
This scares me.
It's obvious the network has worked out some sort of brainwashing technique through fast cuts and pacing to make a generation of viewers watch back to back episodes of "Yo Mamma" for half a day without thinking twice.
I have less than a year before I have to stop watching. I've told myself that 25 is the age that all MTV viewing must cease. It seems appropriate.
I'm reminded continually that I should start waning now. A huge red flag came the other day when Jamie Foxx was on TRL and got everyone to chant 'Tom Cruise' followed by 'Jerry Curl.' I missed the connection because I was yelling at them to shut up and it occurred to me that I didn't need to be watching this.
The same thing happens with The View. When I actually watch this, (which stuns me every time) I end up swearing at the television until I shut it off and think, oh, that was easy.
But I might have to stop my MTV viewing a little ahead of schedule thanks to a show called 'My Super Sweet 16.' If you haven't seen it, you're my personal hero and I urge you to stop reading this and continue saving the world.
My Super Sweet Sixteen is everything that is wrong with America neatly packed into a 60 minute show. Yes, the Bush administration, our dependence on naturally harmful energies, and Star Jones talking, are all problems for the US. But history books will point to this show, as the actual end.
Here's a typical episode:
-Spoiled child asks for party in VIP room at club with trained, iced-out tigers serving virgin mojitos to 600 of her closest friends, while she is flown in via helicopter to meet Kanye West who will sing golddigger, naked. Afterwards, her father presents her with a hardtop lexus convertible with a family of Katrina victims in the trunk who will act as her personal entourage for the year.
The club and the car are the only variables.
I remember I thought my 16th birthday was awesome. Me and Beth had a combined party at my house and 50 people came, and we had 2 sheet cakes, and there was a big snowball fight in the orchard out back, and we cleared the family room and everyone danced including Matt and Mark Maleski who were the best dancers in Brockport.
It was epic.
To this day I still get chills when i hear tracks from Ultimate Dance Party '97.
'Boom Boom Boom' by the Outhere brothers could revive a man from a comatose state.
That's a super sweet medical truth.