Get Off Me!

After what can only be described as the single greatest party I have ever attended, I woke up Sunday morning so incredibly thirsty that I could barely open my mouth to yawn.  I remember thinking, This is what sand must feel like all the time. But that thought was quickly interrupted by the intense pain in my legs.  

Despite my complete lack of dance skill, I've been known to take advantage of a dropped beat. So my initial thought concerning the leg pain was that it was related to a high heel/get low combo. Mystery solved. But geez, how much could I have danced? My legs were freaking killing me. Desperately in need of a glass of water, I tried to move off the couch in my sister's living room, but found that I could not actually move my legs. Now I was getting scared. With a mouth too dry to speak, I just said "ow" over and over to myself in my head as I tried to wiggle some life into my feet and did a slow oblique crunch upward to see what the hell the problem was. 

The good news first: My leg pain was not in any way related to dancing or shoes. I was immediately relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with any embarrassing aftermath concerning my attempts to glide. 

The bad news: My leg pain was related to me. Literally.  When I lifted my torso to look at my legs, I found that my little sister and her friend were BOTH laying on me. ON ME. Sound asleep. Two people, sleeping like babies, on top of my legs. 

I was so upset when I saw the two of them enjoying their rest that all I wanted to do was kick them. But having two people sleep on top of your legs all night causes that sleeping foot sensation for the entire lower half of your body. So instead, I just pinched Nessa's neck until she woke up and I was able to shimmy my way off the couch for some water.

Later that day, when I was recounting my wake-up call, Sabrina asked, "How did you guys fall asleep like that? Wasn't it uncomfortable?"

Dumbfounded by the question, I interjected, "Excuse me! I think you mean to ask, how did you fall asleep like that, morally?! Didn't it occur to you that, hey, maybe we shouldn't sleep on another human being?!"

Shaking their heads with a smile, both Nessa and her friend replied, "You're comfy."