Friday, February 19, 2010

I'm Becoming An Incredibly Awkward Disney Character.

You know how in Disney movies animals just gather around the main characters while they're going about their everyday business? Well that's fine if you're a cartoon who occasionally bursts into song, but neither of those things apply to me, so I'd appreciate it if the wildlife would just stay away for a hot minute so I can walk around my neighborhood without screaming obscenities. 

I've previously discussed the cat problem in my neighborhood, and it's only getting worse. I have to say, "Go away, cat!" pretty much everyday because without fail, some freaky looking cat pops out of something and starts walking with me. I really don't like cats. And the other day while walking around Jamaica Pond I saw a horse. A horse! No one was near it, just a horse, chillin by the walking trail. When I eventually got closer, the horse was standing next to a sign that said, "I'm eating my lunch, please don't disturb." And of course, that freaked me out. It turns out it was a Police Horse (a cop's horse, not a crime-fighting horse) but where was the cop?! And why was the sign written in the first person like that?!
 
Being surrounded by random animals is by no means a new thing for me. But last night, I saw cat walking near me out of the corner of my eye, and as I turned to say, "Go away, cat!" I noticed that it was actually a giant skunk! People, I'm serious. I don't know how long it was trailing me, but it really would have been the perfect topper to my gem of a week if I was sprayed by a skunk.

5 comments:

Sabrina said...

This is a good time to re-tell your dangerous cat stories. Or maybe you should stop ignoring the signs and finally open that zoo you've been talking about forever.

MFB said...

Dear doubters:

I can officially verify that there are a ridiculous amount of cats in Jessie's neighborhood.

I can also verify that her reaction to them ("go away cat" + full body twitch) is hysterical and worth witnessing.

Just sayin'.

xo,
mfb

MFB said...

Dear doubters:

I can officially verify that there are a ridiculous amount of cats in Jessie's neighborhood.

I can also verify that her reaction to them ("go away cat" + full body twitch) is hysterical and worth witnessing.

Just sayin'.

xo,
mfb

MFB said...

i'm unclear as to why that posted twice. probably because it contains two truths. :)

Jess said...

Full body twitch?? Excuse me, but that is a gross exaggeration of my actual reaction. (that sounds like a rap lyric)

OK, whatever, it's probably true. But you saw that ninja cat! You saw him charge at those people! These things aren't in my head.