Saucy Wires and the Unattainable Cool

So I went out for drinks last night with this kid I used to work with, his girlfriend, some guys from their band and 3 other kids who I can only assume tuned drums or tested mics, because they had very little to say but were more than helpful when it came to fixing the wobbly table with a stack of cocktail napkins. Ryan is totally down to earth, and I'm sincerely impressed with creative expression, but there's something about people in bands that equals immediate intimidation. It's like meeting someone who owns leather pants. That's just a level of cool I could never hope to reach.
People in bands seem to walk to beats, have you ever noticed? And when they pass people on the street, others seem to take notice of their vibe. I'm not that girl. I'm the girl who steps in gum. And when I pass people, I can hear the impression I've made. "Oh, watch out, that girl stepped in something."
But I thought that a good way to hide my complete lack of cool would be to pick up early on behavior and language they used and incorporate it into whatever I said. I went into the whole thing as a cultural anthropologist. Observation was key.
OK, so everyone ordered whiskey. This was bad news. Hard liquor quickly erases the remote possibility of keeping what little cool I have. I ordered a beer and said screw it. I was here to observe and needed my senses intact.
The first thing noticed, and was stuck on all night, was linguistics. These people used words I knew, but in completely different contexts. Examples include, closed, dollars, and sealed. Also, 'wires' was a big hit. Their last set was described as, 'off the wires,' 'on the wires,' and 'working the wires,' which I'm told has nothing to do with sound check. But probably THE word of the culture was 'sauce.' They said it, at least every other sentence. Maybe it was a game, and I wasn't invited to play, but it was driving me crazy. I found that sauce can mean anything-- seriously, it's ridiculous. From the conversations alone, I deduced it meant, good, bad, hot, funny, crazy, messy, a musical style, a personal style, and I think, though I can't be sure, spaghetti sauce. But even that has lost all meaning.
My head was spinning and I knew if I tried to use sauce it would be the one context in which it doesn't work. "Don't say that OK? It's prejudice."
I was so over the whole night and ready to leave. Ryan's girlfriend was on the phone and she goes, "Just a sec, let me ask." She looked at me and said, "Do you want a cat?"
I had no energy to even think, and decided to be honest in my lame non-band way. "I have no idea what that means."
"It means my friend has a cat, and she's giving it away."
"Oh, no thank you."