Beetlejuice

Right, so I started a blog. I did it partly because I like to jump on trends years after they're hot, (ugg boot shopping tomorrow, anyone?) but mainly because I'm amazed at how much random stuff can fit into a day, and I'm inclined to share.
So the hotel I work for, Mandarin Oriental (gong!), works hard to constantly redefine opulence and their latest find is that rich people love sound effects to introduce things of importance-- a practice made popular by the Law & Order "dun-duns." So from now on, whenever I mention Mandarin Oriental (gong!) a young Asian boy with a promising future in symphonic percussion studies, will be paid for his efforts. It adds a certain amount of flare, and rich people love to support the arts.
Anyway, celebrities often stay and it amazes me how many of them use fake names to check in. Most celebrities have already changed their names once to become celebrities, and here they are, again, switching things up to stay one night away from home. I smell identity issues. The worst though, is when B list celebrities come in and change their names, like they couldn't possibly be bothered with the screaming fans on the street. That's why I was pleased to see the VIP arrival list the other day said, "Michael Douglas, actor" Not only was this a cool potential sighting (Catherine zeta-Jones, what?) but I liked that Michael Douglas didn't think he was so big, he had to stay under some ridiculous name ie. Simon Cowell who stayed as General Mills and insisted everyone call him General. What an ass.
So when the front office called saying that Mr. Douglas had checked in and cared for some welcome tea, I was more than happy to go up, (will Ms. Jones be needing tea?) Upon entering the suite I met a man at the door who looked familiar and coming from such a big family, I thought for a second he was an uncle I hadn't seen in a while. I quickly dismissed that and fought urges to hug him, but clearly, he was NOT Michael Douglas. When he started talking I put it together and almost screamed out his name like it was game. Special shout out to my brain for holding off on the tourettes at that particular moment. But this Michael Douglas, actor, was actually Michael Keaton, actor(?). Don't get me wrong, I LOVED Beetlejuice, Loved it, it really was brilliant. But please. Don't you think this is a terrible idea on his part??! People see a VIP list, get all excited to see Catherine Zet-- um, Michael Douglas, walk in and oh, hi. It's Mr. Mom. Talk about let down of let downs. And he has to know that's the reaction he's going to get. Why would Michael Keaton do this? As I turned to walk out the door, I felt a rush of sadness, thinking that Michael Keaton thought it would be a good trick to play, and people would be overjoyed to find him in the room, instead of that other Michael. And I felt guilty for only giving him a confused, "are you my uncle Peter?" look. Thinking that as soon as I left the room he would run to the Minibar to drown his sorrow, order Fatal Attraction on Pay Per View and cry alone all night. So just before leaving, I turned slowly, and softly said with a smile, "I loved you in Jack Frost."
Just kidding about that last part, but how effing cool would THAT have been?!