Friday, September 02, 2011

It's Not A Great Story.

I haven't gone shopping in a long time but lately I've noticed that the new big thing with salespeople is to ask you why you need the clothes for which you're shopping. All of a sudden you have to have some sort of story to go along with your need to buy a shirt. I encountered this a lot when shopping for book events. I'm terrible with small talk and have trouble believing that perfect strangers care why I'm doing anything, so I always hated these conversations.

Salesperson: What are you shopping for today?
Me: Clothes.
Salesperson: Have a special event coming up?
Me: Well, yeah actually. I published my first book and I'm having a party.
Salesperson: Well belts are 30% off. Let me know if you need a different size.
I have no idea why they engage you in conversation only to redirect whatever you say to accessories.
Also, I sincerely dislike shopping. Trying on clothes is bad enough but walking in malls past the five million different smells makes me sick. Bath and Body Works, Abercrombie smell, Cinnabon (totally acceptable), Yankee Candle, perfume counters. If you were to lead a blindfolded dog through a mall they would eventually learn how to talk and say, "I have no fucking clue where we are." And now, on top of everything else, I have to explain my reasoning for being in a store.
Salesperson: What are you looking for today?
Me: My daughter. I lost her six years ago and I think she might be in the dressing room. Excuse me.

Anyway, this was an exchange I had with a store employee today:
Salesperson: Hi, there! Can I help you find anything today?
Me: I don't think so, but thank you.
Salesperson: Well are you looking for anything in particular?
Me: Pants.
Salesperson. OK, great. Why do you need pants?
Me: To go out in public, mostly.


Carrie said...

Great post. Maybe if you'd walked into the store not wearing pants,she wouldn't have had to ask.

Jess said...

Thanks, Carrie. It's an idea! And it's also why I'm never allowed back at The Gap.