Friday, November 06, 2009

How's Everything Going Out There?

I really hate when you're trying on clothes in a dressing room and the salespeople come to check on you a million times. 
-How are we doing in there?
-Everything OK?
-How's everything working out?
-Do you know how to put pants on?

I never know if they're talking to me, so my initial response is to say nothing. But then they knock, just to make sure I haven't died in there. "Hon, how we doing?" My reaction on the other side of the dressing room door is always an exaggerated eye roll. "I'm good, thanks!"

So I was trying on some jeans yesterday and all of a sudden, a ridiculously futuristic sounding alarm went off.  It was a cross between a submarine alarm and a space station alarm. Not that I have any firsthand knowledge of either type of alarm, but it sounded like something from a movie.  Fake enough to be laughable, unique enough for me to be like, "Um, did someone sink our battleship?"

The alarm was followed by an announcement, alerting shoppers of an emergency, and instructing them to leave the floor. I should mention that at the time, I was one leg into a pair of skinny jeans--probably the worst clothing choice for an emergency situation.  I froze for a second thinking, should I put these jeans on and leave? Or take them off, put my own pants on and leave? Wait for further instructions?

I felt like leaving the store in their jeans would be too close to stealing so I quickly tried to pull my leg out of the skinny cut, which was basically impossible. I started to speak to the salesgirl I assumed was waiting on the other side of my dressing room door.
"Hello? Is anyone there? Are people leaving the store? Hello?!"
Nothing.
Now I started to panic a little bit. Still unable to rip the pant leg off my ankle-- why so tight with the taper?!-- and not wanting to open the dressing room door without pants on, I started to speak louder. "Are people leaving the store?!"

Eventually, a voice came from the other side. "Do you need another size?"

That's honestly what she said to me. 

After asking about the alarm, she said she it was probably a smoke warning.
"Are people leaving?"
"No. I want to, but I'm here until nine."

5 comments:

Ness said...

"The bra is in the ass?!"

Jess said...

Nessa, we have the same mind. I knew you were going to say that.

pickupyoureffingphone.com

The Rodeo Princess said...

I used to work in a large department store, and one day the fire alarm sounded. I and the rest of the employees were in an orderly exit out the main door (about 150 of us) and I saw a woman rushing in. I stopped her and said, Ma'am, the store is on fire, we are evacuating! She looked at me in extreme frustration and said, I AM JUST GOING TO THE ATM! and rushed past me. sigh.

Jess said...

Naturally. She had to get her money out of there.

Lj said...

please see: curb your enthusiasm. larry walked out with the pants during an alarm (albeit not skinny jeans), security tag and all. he kept them on for a few days until he returned to the store for a trade-back. alas, his own pants were no longer there so he tried to keep the new ones. seems fair to me!