-How are we doing in there?
-How's everything working out?
-Do you know how to put pants on?
I never know if they're talking to me, so my initial response is to say nothing. But then they knock, just to make sure I haven't died in there. "Hon, how we doing?" My reaction on the other side of the dressing room door is always an exaggerated eye roll. "I'm good, thanks!"
So I was trying on some jeans yesterday and all of a sudden, a ridiculously futuristic sounding alarm went off. It was a cross between a submarine alarm and a space station alarm. Not that I have any firsthand knowledge of either type of alarm, but it sounded like something from a movie. Fake enough to be laughable, unique enough for me to be like, "Um, did someone sink our battleship?"
The alarm was followed by an announcement, alerting shoppers of an emergency, and instructing them to leave the floor. I should mention that at the time, I was one leg into a pair of skinny jeans--probably the worst clothing choice for an emergency situation. I froze for a second thinking, should I put these jeans on and leave? Or take them off, put my own pants on and leave? Wait for further instructions?
I felt like leaving the store in their jeans would be too close to stealing so I quickly tried to pull my leg out of the skinny cut, which was basically impossible. I started to speak to the salesgirl I assumed was waiting on the other side of my dressing room door.
"Hello? Is anyone there? Are people leaving the store? Hello?!"
Now I started to panic a little bit. Still unable to rip the pant leg off my ankle-- why so tight with the taper?!-- and not wanting to open the dressing room door without pants on, I started to speak louder. "Are people leaving the store?!"
Eventually, a voice came from the other side. "Do you need another size?"
That's honestly what she said to me.
After asking about the alarm, she said she it was probably a smoke warning.
"Are people leaving?"
"No. I want to, but I'm here until nine."