Wishing for Plinko, winning a dinette set and a daybed.
It's like that.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Your Phone's Ringing.
After spending the weekend with my family, I'm convinced that it is actually impossible for my mother to reach her phone while it's ringing. Part of the problem lies in the fact that she never hears her ringtone, so every time she receives a call, the ringing is accompanied by everyone saying, "Your phone is ringing." Which is followed by my mother saying "Damn it!" and fake running to her purse. She employs the same run people use when a car stops and lets them cross the street. It's basically just walking, but pumping your arms more than usual, to give the illusion of moving in a hurry. She uses this same "Damn it!"/fake run combo every time because she knows she's going to miss the call. Hearing her phone ring isn't a reminder to answer her phone, it's a reminder to check her voicemail in seven minutes when she finds her phone.
Conveniently located at the bottom of her Mary Poppins bag, my mother is more likely to pull a floor lamp out of her purse than to find and answer her phone before the call goes to voicemail. If she happens to have her purse on her while the cellphone is ringing, it's 30 seconds of ringtone, 15 reminders that her phone is ringing, numerous Damn its!, and the complete removal of everything in her bag, which results in the most random combination of items you've ever seen, particularly when traveling. Dog bowl, toothpaste, Big Mirror (which is a big 5x magnification mirror my mother always carries around and has so cleverly named "Big Mirror") and a shoe.
-Where's the other shoe?
-It's in the back of the car.
So it was an interesting weekend of observing the various ways my mother missed incoming call after incoming call. My younger sister on the other hand, prefers that no one she knows ever hears her voice again, and texts almost exclusively. She left yesterday but I've been hearing phantom text message buzz's from her blackberry all morning.
Anyway, when we were going around the table on Thanksgiving saying what we're thankful for, Bri said she was grateful to have four people in her life that she could always call. To which Nessa appropriately replied, "Yeah, and at least two of them will pick up."
Jessica Martin grew up on her family’s farm in Brockport, New York. She spent her formative years talking to herself in the mirror and memorizing lines from Full House episodes. She graduated from Syracuse University with a degree in Television, Radio and Film and that proved to be worthwhile in that she still enjoys all of those things. After living in San Francisco, New York, and Boston, Jessica has learned the importance of light layers, irony, and remembering how people take their coffee.
A fortune cookie once told her that she finds beauty in ordinary things, and she liked this. But then another fortune cookie told her that she liked horse racing and gambling, but not to excess, so she’s not entirely sure what to believe. She sort of thinks fortune cookies should stop pretending they know her so well.
Open-Eyed Sneeze is her first book.