Friday, September 16, 2011

How To Succeed At A Craft Fair Without Really Trying.

I normally don't get into crafts at all. After I met Amy Sedaris and dropped $30 on her craft book for poor people I realized the irony. I hate crafts and $30 was way too much to spend on a book that reminded me of that, particularly because I was totally poor.

As previously mentioned, I hit up a craft fair last weekend with two buddies from my hometown. There were artists peddling all sorts of handmade clothes, jewelry, posters, and cards. You have to be a very judicious shopper at craft sales. Surrounded by crafts and craft enthusiasts, anything knitted seems completely necessary. It's like when you're on a beach vacation and think getting your hair braided is a good idea.

Obviously, there were a lot of birds on things.

But Suzanne also noted how many words were on things. "So many words!"
If you planned your outfit accordingly, you could have a message on everything you were wearing and holding.

If you want to succeed at a craft fair just put one of these things on something:
-A bike on something
-A whale on something
-An animal wearing a suit on something.
-A Mustache/beard on something. (Seriously, people? Still not over this?)
-An eyepatch on something
-A Chicago flag on something
-A random food item like a Pop Tart on something

I say, be bold! Put a single sideburn on something! A pogo-stick! Buffalo's city flag! (It's pretty sweet, look it up.) Or do whatever you want, I guess I don't really care. Just stop making totes.


Lauren Quinn O'Neill said...

Geoff & I were watching Amy Sedaris on Jimmy Fallon the other day. Died when she put the "weekender" maidenform pants on.

Miss you - hope Chi town is treatin' ya well!

Melissa said...

This must be Renegade Chicago! I noticed the exact same thing, though you neglected to mention how anything vaguely 'ironic' would be a surefire way to succeed. The best example I saw was: a picture of a hotdog with a bowtie and mustache riding a bike. Seeing that was the moment my head exploded.

Melissa said...

oh and the owls. So many owls.

Jess said...

Lauren, just watched that and died. So funny. Do you know King Curtis? The son she was talking about? Youtube it. Totally miss you! I'll holler when in Boston next.

Melissa- YES! the owls! ha! and i totally saw that hotdog on a bike! didn't get close enough to notice the mustache and bow tie. damn. now i totally want that.

Lauren Quinn O'Neill said...

I immediately youtube'd it...G & and were hyperventilating.

You should watch this sometime - not the same kind, more it made me smirk