Monday, September 25, 2006

Apple Umpkin.

Just got back to Cali from my trip to the farm. Let me say, if one is to return to their country roots, the beginning of fall is the time to do it. I love fall. (Repeat. Draw hearts. Hang Teen-Beat Fall poster over bed.) On the particularly amazing day after Beth's wedding, I forced my mom to take me to the Apple-Umpkin Festival in a town about an hour away. That's right, no P, because "umpkin" is country.
Parking for the festival was a muddy field and the Wyoming, NY police were there to collect the $4 a car. In the event of an emergency the town was totally screwed because the entire police department was directing traffic--all LANE of it. $4 seemed steep for parking in mud but as the sheriff said, "that includes a continuous shuttle to and from the festivities." Now, because I'm a genius I truly pictured a monorail of sorts suspended over these fields and before I could vocalize my respect for modern mass transit in rural America, I looked up to see a line of school buses. Right.
On the drive to Apple-Umpkin my mom and I had placed bets as to what type of booths would be there--fried dough, homemade dish clothes, etc, and when walking through we each got a point for every booth we had correctly guessed.
-Large, completely unnecessary wooden lawn ornaments- 1 point me.
-Wreaths made out of twigs- 1 point mom
-Large, completely unnecessary signs that read, "Home, Happiness, Harmony" or something of the like-1 pt me.
-Blooming onion cart- 1 point mom
-Large, completely unnecessary Sand art tables. (i have a bit of hostility towards crafts.)- 1 point me.
-Native American Jewelry- 1 point mom. She's good. I don't know any Native Americans personally, but somehow word always gets out when booths are being set up and somebody ventures off the Res to sell the feather earrings or dream catcher scrunchies.
Enjoying the best kettle korn i've ever had we came across a pony next to a small sign that read, "$1 Raffle. Win Pony."
Um, yeah, I'm in.
Truthfully people, I'm not a lucky person, but i am one hundred percent certain I will win this pony. It's name is Sox but I'm changing it to Princess Buttercup. The Drawing is on New Years Eve and I can't wait to be out enjoying a bubbly beverage and all of a sudden get the call that I have a pony.
We settled in the music tent after browsing around and listened to the Lost Boys Bluegrass Band who were scheduled to play from 10:30-noon, Noon-2:30, 2:30-5:00. Or, all day. Someone on the Apple Umpkin committee didn't get the memo about saving on printing costs. We Dropped the "P" Bob! We're trying to cut back!
I love bluegrass. I mean, i always think I do but I soon remember how quickly you get sick of it. Remember those big tubes of just sugar? I would always flip out when i saw those and be like, "i love those!" only to realize 3/4's of a tube later that I actually don't love those.
The Lost Boys Bluegrass band was a musical tube of sugar. And I'm pretty sure the lead singer was drunk. She opened one song by asking, "Hey, how many of you have ever had your heart broken?" It should be noted that mostly little kids were on the dance floor, so she received little response. But she pressed on. "And keep yer hands raised if you had your heart broken and then you got real pissed about it" She proceeded to sing an original song called, "Why you crying." 4 minutes into the song I yelled at my mom for a pen so I could write down the lyrics. This is for real.
Why you crying (24x)
I'm not gonna wait
I'm not gonna wait
I'm not gonna wait no more. (3x)
I'm leaving you, I'm walking out the door.
(To be played for 18 minutes, for children)
I think we walked away during the 7th minute, waved goodbye to princess buttercup, and caught a shuttle to the mud to find the car and head home.

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