That'll Do, Pig.

Because the people of the world currently don't have enough to worry about, Swine Flu is making the rounds.

A few words on swine flu:
Really? Swine flu? Did we even know about this? Was that what that "Penelope" movie starring Christina Ricci was about? The news just started talking about it like it was something we all saw coming. "In other news, swine flu is here. Buy a mask and don't hug pigs."

A big part of the problem is the name. It just sounds bad. In America, government officials have asked that we stop calling it swine flu and instead call it H1N1.
Right.
That's like someone who has a nickname all their life and then one day insists on changing it to sound grown up.
"T-Bone!"
"I go by William now."
"Whatever, T-Bone."

I'm the first to admit that I'm a terrible hypochondriac so now not only do I have to avoid strangers with the sniffles, I also have to be concerned about rogue farm animals and BLTs. The medical advice dispensed through the media says to wash hands, and don't panic--as the World Health Organization raises global alerts to the "Knock Knock. Who's there? Holy Crap. Holy Crap Who? Holy Crap there's basically going to be a swine flu pandemic and all we have to protect us is Purell" level. (also known as level 5).

I don't want to be disrespectful, because people are seriously sick, but geez, can the world get a break?