It's Beginning To Look Nothing Like Christmas.

Christmas in Cali is like a road trip without the radio. sure, you can do it, but why would you want to?
I start to miss the east coast around Thanksgiving and it works up to this killer anticipation to see all my family and eat insane amounts of food that hits the apex right before I board a flight to nyc. i'm not a good flight buddy for strangers in that i'd rather not speak to them at all. But on flights home for the holidays, i am my father's daughter. Talking to everyone about their plans, asking if they want a festive beverage, "what? airplane coffee is the worst, let's get you some bailey's for that old friend!"
I almost don't recognize myself during these times, but that's the magic of the holidays.
Not going home this year due to scheduling problems, and i thought i'd be cool with it. But San Francisco for Christmas is like a man in drag or something. Even if it's really convincing, it's not really convincing. So while the city puts up lights and decorations, stores blare the traditional classics, and people ringing bells stand EVERYWHERE (can i give you money to STOP ringing that bell?!) you walk around with your eggnog latte thinking, yeah, i can totally tell this city is a man.
The holidays belong to the East Coast. New York owns Christmas. New England has the rights to Thanksgiving. Upstate invented snow. Jack Frost summers in the Tri-State area. Any ideas of the holidays that spread to middle America and the West, are leased to them by the East Coast. Can't you tell when something is rented? A car, a room, a tuxedo. People act differently when they know it's not really theirs. People in California know that Christmas belongs back East so they use it gently because they forgot to sign up for the $11 insuarance.
In an effort to create my own Christmas spirit without signing a lease, i've taken the following steps:
-Watched Home Alone.
-Watched Christmas Vacation.
-Bought, baked, and consumed an entire roll of Pillsbury sugar cookies.
Right, so I thought that'd do the trick. Not so much. I just ended up saying "Buzz's girlfriend, woof" and "THE BLESSING" like thirty times and grabbing my sides all day wondering why i ached.
Here's what I'm missing:
-My mother's Nativity scene with the figures who have been chipped after years of use to the point that almost none of them have feet. Most of the figures, save for the cows and camels, are leaning against the manger, which undoubtedly will be filled with easter basket grass because we lost the straw years ago.
-A christmas tree. Is it lame that i used to like to just sit and watch the tree? probably, but i don't care, and i miss it.
-SNOW. i miss snow and all things derivative. snowballs, snowmen, snow angels, snow brushes, snow tires, snow boots, snow drifts. snow is christmas, rain is not. when was the last time a class of elementary students made paper cutouts or raindrops? Never. Exactly. ok, maybe april, but you see where i'm going.

gah, felt good to get that out. and really, what would Christmas be if we couldn't bitch about it a little?