Le Foot.

A few words on the World Cup. Are you people watching this?! If not, you should be.
Here's why:
-Anything that gets human beings across the globe to paint their faces, consume beer, and sing cheesy chants is good. Yes, it is.
-Watching soccer is a workout for your being. Hope, anticipation, patience, excitement, disappointment, pride, are all exercised within a few kicks. Trust me. Even if you don't like soccer or know the countries playing, give one match a try. You'll see what I'm saying.
-In the bubble wrap that is the oceans and crap that surround us, most Americans have no idea the enormity of this game. The Daily Show said something really brilliant. That countries with historical rivalries use the game as a metaphor for war to settle differences. Whereas, Americans are indifferent because we don't need a metaphor for war. We have war.
(Oh, right--could someone start the anthem? Thanks)
In a 0-0 tie against Sweden, the players and fans of Trinidad and Tobago embraced and were moved to tears. A tie. Zero-Zero. When was the last time little American kids were told 0-0 was a good time to stop playing and celebrate. Celebrate the effort-yo!
(OK, and wave some flags here, please)
The fact that a GAME can unite the world is huge. If leaders and everyday people could understand the simple basics behind that, think of how we could all come together for even greater things, like peace, or really good gum.
(And release the doves and eagles now please. What? No eagles? Or doves?! How hard is it to find a dove? Um, magic stores, hello? Sorry everyone this will just take a minute. Well, what do you have? Chickens?! Do they even fly? No, i never got around to seeing Chicken Run. Fine, release them. ...... well, that was lame.)
The World Cup, which is different from the Olympics in that it doesn't include pair figure skating to negate any serious discussion of it's lasting effects, is a chance for the Earth--this spinning mass suspended in the universe--to take part in all that is fundamentally wonderful. Painting faces, consuming beer, and singing cheesy chants.