For Insurance Purposes.

We had our annual open enrollment meeting for health insurance at work. Showing up to those meetings is always a bad idea for me. As soon as they mention Death and Dismemberment I feel the need to burst out laughing. Obviously maturity issues come into play here, but I find it hilarious to think how I will be dismembered answering the phone. And they go on and on about the benefits and bonuses you'll get from accidental death on the job and I think, oh that'll be great. A nice fat lump sum of money will do me a lot of good when I'm dead. Then I start to think how I could be killed answering the phones and actually come up with a few scenarios, scaring myself, and the urge to laugh fades.
But the health meetings are just a waiting game for the dumbest question. I don't know why people feel compelled to share personal medical problems at these things but they always do, and I enjoy it. I sit there thinking, this woman is an insurance agent! She's not a doctor! But, keep 'em coming 'cuz we're all getting paid OT to sit here, or more if an eye gets poked out or we die.
So on the dental section she got into discussing oral surgery and if it's very invasive you can sometimes use both dental and medical coverage to pay for it. Or something. I wasn't really listening because I knew people were waiting for her to finish so they could ask her questions about their mouths. She'd already made clear in the medical presentation that she wasn't a doctor. She HAD to be a dentist.
And sure enough, as soon as she asked, "Any questions?" hands shot up.
The restaurant supervisor started asking about a dental procedure she had just had. Literally. She was speaking in mumbled slurs because she still had stitches in there. Dude. Any question you're about to ask is too late.
A Bellman sitting next to me raised his hand and started complaining about an old crown and asked what he should do about it. I felt the corners of my mouth turn up and quickly forced them down getting a tingle in my nose that told me I was about to start crying if I didn't laugh soon.
Agent: Well, I couldn't answer that sir. You'd have to talk to your dentist.
Bellman's Thought Bubble: You're not a dentist?! But my tooth hurts real bad!
Bellman: But do you think the PPO plan would cover that? Even if it looks like this too?
And he opens his mouth and smiles to expose all of his teeth and I turn to look at him the moment he does this, and I can't help myself. I burst out laughing.
Just me.
Not even the Aetna agent. She must get this all the time.
I quickly shut up and made awkward eye contact with the Bellman who probably thought I was laughing at his mouth--which I was. But not because it was bad, just because I think it's funny when people open their mouths for no reason, and ask the dental opinions of those giving power point presentations.
And I would have explained this to him but he looked pissed so leaned over holding the side of my face and whispered, "I have the same thing."
He seemed ok with that.