Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I Don't Refuse To Accept That This Is Not Butter.

You know when you're searching for a book in a library and you have to say the alphabet aloud over and over as you walk through the rows? I obviously know that f comes before g, but I'll be damned if I can remember it without whispering the song quickly to myself.

Well, multiply that speedy whisper by a thousand and you have an idea of the schizophrenic mess I looked like in college while taking exams in my logic classes. The idea was to prove if a statement was true, but all you really need to know about these tests is that they consisted of A LOT of double negatives. Not not A LOT. There were so many negations in these exams that I had no choice but to read everything out loud so that my head didn't explode.

It went something like this:
"If not A is true then A is not true, false, so not true, then not not A is not not not...." [Boom.]

It was during this time that I seriously tried to get the double negative "NOT!" craze going.
"You look good! Not! (pause) Not!"
"You look nice."

But to this day whenever I hear someone use a double negative I get a really distant look and go off into my head stringing together groups of nots. Not knots, but nots.
[Boom. ]

So since the first time I heard Meredith repeat the bit about I Can't Believe It's Not Butter from The Vicar of Dibley, I've been unable to shake it. Sure, I forget about it from time to time, but one mention of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and I can't not start saying it.

I was watching this clip again the other day and I wondered if any other food could get away with a similar name. Would anyone buy something called, "What Do You Mean This Isn't Meat?!" or "But It Feels Like Cheese!"?
I doubt it.

The Wikipedia page for I Can't believe It's Not Butter has a great list of the imitation knock-offs:
  • "Butter It's Not!"
  • "Isn't It Butter?"
  • "What, Not Butter!"
  • "Could it be Butter?"
  • "You'd Butter Believe It"
  • "You'd Think It's Butter!"
  • "Unbelieveable[9] [sic] This is not butter"
  • "Not Butter But Better"
  • "Tastes Like Butter"
  • "Is it Butter?"
  • "Utterly Butterly"
  • "Better By Far"
  • "This is not Butter. It's Butterific!"

This is probably my new favorite list as far as lists go. But also, I think these names could be used for almost any product and still be not false.


MFB said...

sheer genius. that is one of the most perfect bits of writing ever. ooh and the clip is dead on as well :)

Brina said...

That actress is fantastic!!! LOL!!! As is your post. And that list. But not those tests! I remember them not fondly.