Sunday calls to my sisters and parents mean hearing different stories about all of them told by all of them. It's like a giant cross country game of telephone. Well actually, that's exactly what it is.
Like when my dad said a few weeks ago:
-So you knew this whole time that Vanessa adopted a dog from a miniature person?
Dad, that doesn't even make sense.
Anyway, Ness was the first to call Sunday morning and said that she had just gotten off the phone with Sabrina who was going into a yoga class with her friend, September.
-Sorry, what?
-Her friend's name is September. And Brina said she ends all of her text messages "9" and obviously Sabrina thought that was incredibly clever.
I sat in bed trying to fight an eye roll. I really don't like to be cynical until around the noon hour.
I finished talking to ness and called the parentals.
-Hey, did you know Sabrina takes yoga with a girl named September?
-What? No, she never said. Steve, Sabrina is starting yoga next month.
-No, mom, that's not what i said.
So i finished talking to them and waited for bri to call which never happens so i finally broke down and dialed her. As it was ringing I had a little kid grin thinking about what i would say. Hi, 2? this is 11, is 9 there?
She answered. miracles!
-Hey sister, how are you?
-Oh, awesome thanks. All nice and stretched out. Just got out of yoga with my friend Janvier.
-Shut up! Do you and nessa talk about everything i say?!
-Um, yes. I have to know, was that girl even born in September?
-No.
-Right, of course not.
-It was funny though because we went out to lunch after and my friend January was working there. So i said September, this is January, January, this is September.
-And the people behind you are thinking, dude. it's August.
About the Author
- Jess
- Jessica Martin grew up on her family’s farm in Brockport, New York. She spent her formative years talking to herself in the mirror and memorizing lines from Full House episodes. She graduated from Syracuse University with a degree in Television, Radio and Film and that proved to be worthwhile in that she still enjoys all of those things. After living in San Francisco, New York, and Boston, Jessica has learned the importance of light layers, irony, and remembering how people take their coffee. A fortune cookie once told her that she finds beauty in ordinary things, and she liked this. But then another fortune cookie told her that she liked horse racing and gambling, but not to excess, so she’s not entirely sure what to believe. She sort of thinks fortune cookies should stop pretending they know her so well. Open-Eyed Sneeze is her first book.
6 comments:
I like being able to predict which of my conversations with you will be blog-able.
And YOU're the one who doesn't answer the phone!
Go eat some cereal and leave me and my months alone. Namaste.
a few more hippy friends and you'll have a calendar.
i'm going to name my first child rainbowsprinkles but spell it Frank. so when people call him frank he has to be like, "actually, it's rainbowsprinkles."
haha I love rainbowsprinkles already! he has your sense of humor. oh and ps I have one more semester of law school before i'm done silly!
Saskelch! I'm glad you feel so strongly about the baby...because it's yours. do you ooze something in your sleep? har har.
AND good to know about law school! i was like, oh my gosh, if sarah is going to be a doctor too she's going to be way too smart to talk to. Like dolphins. you know there's a cance for communication, but it's just out of reach.
is one of us supposed to be a dolphin in this scenario? back east next month, i'd love to meet up with you guys. talk soon
You are, jess, you are the dolphin. Speaking of oozing in your sleep, the latest rowing news is that Anna Goodale's boat came first at the World Championships, making her...a World Champion! She's all smiles on the front page of row2k.com. YES PLEASE about next month. We'll come to the farm! AND Juliet will be in Brooklyn so she can come with! FUN!
so that's amazing about anna! she has this incredible story, right? walk on, world champ, pretty sweet. it's like Rudy. Only, she's super tall and rows a boat. So it's that version of Rudy.
Anyway, forewarning about martin farms. my parents live there, you know that, right? Just don't say I didn't tell you when my dad is trying to get you guys on tractors and pushing pre-wrapped squash like hard drugs. Take it! It's delicious!
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