Wednesday, November 19, 2008


I was watching the CEOs of America's Big Three automakers beg for money last night in front of the House Financial Services Committee (because that's how I do) and was slightly disappointed that no one brought up the issue of Kleenex in the rear windows of Lincoln Town Cars. I guess that's not what the meeting was about, but it has always sort of bothered me.

Has anyone ever sat behind a Lincoln Town Car at a red light and NOT seen a box of tissues in the rear window?

Seriously. Anyone?

I want to start a photo collection of different Town Cars I see with tissues in the rear window and call the collection, "I'm Driving And I Need A Tissue But I Can't Reach Because I Drive A Lincoln Town Car And The Box Is In My Rear Window."

I'll need to work on the title.


Anonymous said...

Did you know the tissue box holder is actually a package feature on the LTC? You get heated seats, illuminated cigarette lighters, and the tissue box holder. I'd love to talk with the salesman on that one. Yeah, side-curtain airbags are nice...but...where would I be storing my tissues?

I'll have to give LTC makers the benefit of the doubt on this one, since their cars are used for funeral processions and weddings. Also, old people drive big cars and their old people backseat passangers are know for their love of facial tissues.

I'd love to design a car full of sweet features like a heated wig rack. I also recommend googeling the Nissan Nuva. That is a vechicle packed with non sensical features. On the plus side, it is ugly.

Jess said...

i did not know that.
now i just feel silly for bringing it up.

well done with the demographic data on the car though. weddings, funerals, old people. how does that sales pitch go?
-if you plan on aging, or dying ever, this is the car for you.
-that seems pretty morbid. do you have a less sad car?

Pimp My Ride was pretty great at including useless features too. taking beat-up clunkers and putting a $5,000 theatre system in the back of the car where no one could see it. Nothing says "pimp" quite like sitting on a lawn chair behind your car and watching The Lion King out of your trunk.

Macnabbs said...

If it had only been an LTC that Tim Roth was in the back of at the start of Resevoir Dogs, then he could have mopped up some of the gore. I can though see the benefit of tissues as standard issue in the back of cabs, along with antiseptic wipes and disposable gloves(yea, sorry, my last fare was something of a you wish you'd scotchguarded your trousers now, eh?').

Do Lincon do a country car too? What's on the parcel shelf of that...or is that where the gun rack goes? And why do they never fit a gun rack to any car in 'pimp my ride'? You'd think that once, just once, somebody would want the James Bond' option - yea the combination cornish pasty fridge and microwave in the glove compartment is a nice touch and all, but what I really want is mini-guns behind the headlights and an ejector seat.