Tuesday, November 18, 2008

As Seen On TV.

"If any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas..."

The Aqua Globe. This is something you fill with water and stick into your plants to keep them watered. Right. That seems like an extra step I wouldn't be willing to pay for. You still have to remember to water something. Plus, having to hear, "Did you water the Aqua Globe?" would probably send me into a rant about the Aqua Globe every time.

Debbie Meyer Green Bags. These magic bags keep your fresh produce "fresh" for weeks. Few questions here. Why is Debbie Meyer buying so much fresh produce if she knows she won't be eating it for 18 days? Why not just buy a fresh green pepper when you need one? What is running through Debbie Meyer's head at the market? "Oh, cucumbers. I might want one of those in three to four weeks. Better buy 12 of them now." The commercial for these bags says, "Here are baby carrots after 26 days!" Maybe Debbie doesn't like baby carrots as much as she thinks she does.

The Slanket. Don't even get me started. All I'll say is that in all honesty, without exaggeration, I am afraid of this thing.

And on Sunday I saw a commercial where the man from the Oxiclean ads was selling a health insurance plan. That seems like a sound choice. Medical coverage from a man who feels compelled to throw red wine and ink on everything he sees. Why not refinance your mortgage through the ShamWOW! guy, or apply for a student loan with the people who brought us Kinoki Foot Pads?

Call now.


Anonymous said...

I am an fan of any product that markets itself as an easier way to cook/strain pasta. I'm just waiting on a kitchen gadget that will help me takle the difficult task of making a peanut butter sandwich. Come on Ron Popeal, you gotta have something for me.

Speaking of great gift ideas, how does one purchase a copy of your book?

Macnabbs said...

Gadgets that do horrible things to food are a must. My favourite must be those hand-operated blender things that consist of an unreliable plastic container with loads of hilariously dangerous blades in it, powered by a plunger or handle. Drop your fruit or vegetable of choice into it, plunge away like a madman and, hoorah, an inedible mush with, oddly, some uncut chunks in there. The only thing the device lacked was a crone knitting at your feet while the blades whirled.

Jess said...

The standing joke in my family right now is, "Look for Jessica's book. To be released in 2017."

But you've got me thinking with this peanut butter sandwich idea. That's something people want AND need. i'm going to look into a package deal. maybe the book can be included as the "But wait, there's more!"