Thursday, February 07, 2008

Strip Club.

I think I'm going to start a comic strip called "Blank Stare" based solely on the things I hear my father say.

The only problem with a comic strip is that I can't draw. So I'm simply going to use a dialogue bubble for each frame and then the last frame of every comic will be a photograph of my blank stare. Can it be considered a comic if you never actually draw? I can sketch a very convincing tree and sometimes a bug, so maybe I'll include those off to the corner of the dialogue bubbles and it can be like looking for the scroll in the Waldo books. People love stuff like that.

OK, so I haven't taken the time to actually put these ideas into comic strip form yet, nor have I taken a picture of my blank stare. I've literally just come up with the idea, give me a minute. But like I said, each frame is a talking bubble, last frame is a picture of a blank stare. It's not hard to visualize. And maybe try to imagine a little tree floating around somewhere.

Frame 1: Jackie Chan. Remember him? He's dead.
Frame 2: Jackie Chan's not dead.
Frame 3: Oh, good.
Frame 4: Blank Stare.

Frame 1: Well, Oprah threw that huge party for Obama a while ago.
Frame 2: Oh, really? Are they in love?
Frame 3: Blank Stare.

Frame 1: Think I'll have my sandwich on a roll because that's how I roll. Get it?
Frame 2: Yea.
Frame 3: No, wait. I'm going to have it on a pita. That's how I roll. Get it?
Frame 4: Blank Stare.

For this next one it might be helpful to know that my parents live in Monroe County.

Frame 1: Deb, who was that guy from that Fantasy Island show in the 70's?
Frame 2: Ricardo Montalban?
Frame 3: Yes! Monroe Countybalm.
Frame 4: Blank Stare.

For this last one it might be helpful to know that my father saw Napoleon Dynamite for the first time a few months ago. And I feel like I'll want to use this comic like five times, because that's how many times it's been used as a message on my phone.

Frame 1: Jess, it's dad. Call me back you stupid llama.
Frame 2: Blank Stare.


Pamplemousse said...

oh MAN this had me laughing out loud at work!!

i wholeheartedly support your idea for a comic strip. screw drawing -- be unique.

i do request the photo soon for our reference. and perhaps a sample of your tree drawing abilities. ooh have you ever drawn the bug IN the tree? mad skillz.

Jess said...

ha, thanks meredith:)

bug in the tree! why didn't i think of that! i'll never be an artist with my narrow independent bug, independent tree way of thinking.

remember those ads in the back of magazines that were like, "Can You Draw?" and then had a picture of a bear wearing a hat?
As a little kid I was always like, "No, but I can trace!" That's why all the pictures my parents hung on the fridge were on wax paper.

mid sib sis kel said...

OMG - that was too funny!! I totally had the visual!! Please do this once a week or maybe include it in our newsletter!! Gotta love Stevie Martin!!

Jess said...

miss ya kel!

Blogger said...

I've just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the best virtual strippers on my desktop.