Friday, February 09, 2007

Well, sure.

If you live on Earth, you've most likely heard the story about love-crazed Astronaut, Lisa Nowak, and her attempt to kill a woman over a man they both apparently loved. Even if you don't live on Earth but have read any Shakespeare, you know this story. It's classic.

Woman falls in love with man.
Woman suspects another woman is interested in man.
Woman drives from Texas to Florida wearing diapers to kill her romantic rival.
Everyone involved is an Astronaut.

This story has all the elements of a tale that will be told throughout the ages in that it's universally (snap) relatable. Love triangles, jealousy, NASA, diapers--these are just timeless themes. Yes, "diapers" is a theme.

This was the gift of the century for news outlets. What young reporter doesn't sit in journalism school dreaming about an attempted murder story involving pepper spray, a BB-gun, a steel mallet, knife and some rubber tubing? This is the "get" they talk about on your first day of journalism school.
Note: Look for the Lisa Nowak Edition of the board game Clue in stores soon. "Ms. Crazy Space Lady, in the diaper, with the rubber tubing"

The News really stressed the diaper thing, saying she wanted to kill this other woman so badly that she wore the diaper so she wouldn't have to stop. But it's a 900 mile trip. I don't care how badly you want to get anywhere, you're going to need to stop for gas. The papers never even touched on that. So it's very likely that while pulled over at the Citgo station, steps away from the restroom, she decided, nah, i'll just pee right here.

She's back in Texas now, having been released on bail. I like to think that she's snapped back into reality and realized maybe her feelings for that guy were a little too strong. Wanting to meet someone new, she posted this ad on Craigslist:

"White Female, 5'6/125, crazy, looking for a man who likes long drives, role play, and incontinence. NO ASTRONAUTS!"

2 comments:

sas said...

Right on Jess! And couldn't they just at least WARN people to fix their hair or something for their mug shot? But now Anna Nicole Smith has made everyone forget about the diaper wearer. I LOVE the news! Also, I might be the father of Dannielynn.
PS Looks like Hawaii is more likely sometime later in the year?
XOX

Jess said...

haha!

the pics for ID passes at NASA are taken on those 20-G centrifuge machines. compared to her NASA ID, that mug shot made her look like a beauty queen.

i miss you!
go study!