A Belated OES Review.

It'd be hard to beat the initial reviews, but I just received this message and laughed out loud.

• i just finished your book. i loved it. i'm living the real-life version now, so if you're nostalgic for that feeling of i-guess-it's-your-house-and-you-can-do-whatever-you-want-but-for-the-love-of-christ-stop-teaching-the-dog-to-bossa-nova-and-saying-"she's-doing-it!-she's-doing-it"-when-she's-so-clearly-not-doing-it, come on over. also, ithought you'd appreciate that i just got an email from Kiva asking if i want to loan a woman named Tuna $40 to buy wheelbarrows. those two thoughts are unrelated.

  
  

  Sorry, i was wrong. it's to buy "a mistblower, gloves, a shovel, and a wheelbarrow". so that when she kills you, no one will ever know.

My Engagement Story. (And So Lovingly Told.)

I'm not engaged. I should open with that. I thought that was clear, but apparently my mother called my sister and then Bri called me just to double check. Why my mother didn't call me directly is still a little strange. And if there was any doubt in her mind that I wasn't joking, I'm actually pretty offended that she didn't call to congratulate me. It's kind of big fake news.

Anyway, enjoying yet another incredible night out in LA thanks to these amazing  people, a generous friend bought roses for all of us at a gay club (as you do). I thought it was so charming but everyone else quickly asked me to hold theirs. My new favorite person immediately said upon being handed the rose, "Love it, not gonna hold it."
Lesbians.

So as we left that club and walked to another, I commented on the fact that I now looked like the lady who sells roses at clubs. I can never have just one night of chill. It always has to be something. And that night it was moonlighting as a rose seller.

So as we walked around West Hollywood, all the roses in tow, my friend starting shouting, "She said yes! She said yes!"to which supportive gay strangers smiled and congratulated. It was a nice little moment. When we popped into Norm's for late night bites, the "She said yes!" line followed us to our table. Our waiter congratulated us. The man sleeping in the seat next to me stayed asleep. The older couple next to us mentioned that they were getting married too!  They were in their late 60's and happy as clams. "He gave me his mother's ring." she said, before looking down to her hand and smiling. Filled my whole freaking heart up. And because my fake fiancee is a self-proclaimed old man at heart--and let's be honest, I'm often confused for old men-- I felt so happy for all of us. Just a bunch of happily engaged old people out for sandwiches and pancakes at 3AM.

I should be so lucky for a story like that.

Anyway, the "She said yes!!" line made me smile for the whole next day and the getting engaged part of the weekend started to make its way into recaps of the trip because it was better than saying, "Trainer Megan smoked me in every competition." I posted this on FB:
Lots of important stuff happened this weekend, including being so happy, getting engaged, working out and working it out, laughing the best laughs, and loving LA-- but nothing is more memorable than meeting a little Australian kid and having her ask where in Australia I'm from. My accent is OFFICIALLY legit. #nailedit

I should say that roughly 9 people congratulated me (again, if this was real, I might be hurt) and NO ONE mentioned the accent. People, it's getting really good. I don't think you understand how big this is for me.

Anyway, this post was mostly for my mom. Call and ask about my accent, please.

Privacy.

When I went into a public ladies' room today, a little kid was standing by the hand dryer with a coat over his head. All the doors to the stalls were closed so I posted up next to him, smiling to myself in the mirror. After about 30 seconds, he pulled the coat down from his face, looked at me, and then put it back over his head.

A few seconds passed and I watched the coat mass of the young boy inflate and then deflate before hearing, "Mum! This is rubbish! Rubbish!"

Note: I LOVED that the coat-covered kid was British. It made it that much better.

From a stall the mother shot back, "Spencer!"

I hoped this was an alias. I mean, his identity was pretty much secret at this point. Why'd she have to go and call him out like that?

Anyway, I used the restroom and when I made my way back to the sink, Spencer was bobbing his coat head back and forth below the hand dryer to turn it on.

He was the best part of my day.

Up up up.

In Light by Givers pretty much saved my heart last summer. Listening to it again in the heat this year feels like having a really great friend pick you up at the airport. If you're going through something right now, pick a good album and give it 365. 

The human heart is amazing in its capacity to fill back up.