Thursday, July 24, 2008

"It's a beautiful name for a boy or a girl. Especially a girl... Or a boy."

"I defy you to come up with a better name than Seven."
"Alright, let's see... How about Mug? Mug Costanza. That's original. Or Ketchup. Pretty name for a girl."
"Alright... You having a good time now?"
"I've got fifty right here in the cupboard... How about Bisquick? Pimento? Gherkin? Sauce? Maxwell House?"
"Alright already!"

Seinfeld never ceases to be relevant.

We were talking about "The Seven" episode last night while watching Project Runway because I was convinced that one of the models was named Candle.
-Did she just say Candle?
-I think so.
-That girl's name is Candle?
-Yeah, I guess.
-Happy Birthday, Candle. How about mug?
It turns out her name was Kendall, but after hearing Candle a few times, I decided that she looked more like a Candle than a Kendall. And actually, compared to what celebrities call their kids, Candle isn't such a weird name. (Unrelated story: One time I was in Yankee Candle and saw a sign that said "Please Don't Eat The Candles.")

Anyway, I thought of the bizarre name thing again today after reading an article about a young girl in New Zealand who had to have her named changed by a family court judge. The name given to her by her parents was Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii, and the judge felt the name set her up with a social disability. The article didn't mention her last name but it really would have been another nail in the coffin if it was Weiner.

I don't know how I feel about this. On the one hand, kids can be cruel, and she'd probably have people doing the hula dance around her until she turned 19. I can see how that could get old. (Talk to poor Macarena Weiner. She never got over it). But on the other hand, no one would EVER forget her name. That's huge.

People are always forgetting my name. My parents--who named me--have trouble remembering. My neighbor, who I met probably 7 times before moving in here, and now see everyday while walking the dog, always introduces himself to me. What does my name have to be for you to remember that we've met 75 times? I have to say, Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii is looking pretty good.

And how many repeated names do you have in your cell phone? It's hard to tell people apart, right? No one will ever delete her from their cellphone after thinking to themselves, "Hmm, Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii...Did I meet her through work? Or was it at that party? The area code looks familiar, but I just can't think of who that might be. Talula...Hmm...Does The Hula...Hmm...From Hawaii...Nope, not ringing any bells."

The article said that the girl's new name wasn't made public because the court wanted to protect her identity. However, I saw a few reports online that said the judge overseeing the case was leaning toward Candle.


Anonymous said...

And yet again reading your blog at work has gotten me in trouble for laughing out loud. A lot.

I'd sign my name to this comment, but you'd forget it.

Jess said...

Well played. :)

Pamplemousse said...

i thought stella said candle tooo! (maybe because stella is a nut job, but you know...) it didn't help that the rest of the sentence was "Candle is a really earthy, hippy girl who likes draping;" that lends itself to her having a hippy, earthy name. i also read the "Talula..." article and loved the list of names at the end that had also been outlawed compared to ones that had been allowed -- Bus Stop 17 or something, vs. Violence. Anyway, great post, as always :)

Jess said...

ha, nice work with the stella quote.
once she said earthy, i was like, "OK, that girl is totally named Candle."

"I like leather. I watch leather tv, my cat is leather, my kids came out of me leather, i have a leather husband."

Anonymous said...

"Holla' at cha' boy, Tim"