"Alright, let's see... How about Mug? Mug Costanza. That's original. Or Ketchup. Pretty name for a girl."
"Alright... You having a good time now?"
"I've got fifty right here in the cupboard... How about Bisquick? Pimento? Gherkin? Sauce? Maxwell House?"
Seinfeld never ceases to be relevant.
We were talking about "The Seven" episode last night while watching Project Runway because I was convinced that one of the models was named Candle.
-Did she just say Candle?
-I think so.
-That girl's name is Candle?
-Yeah, I guess.
-Happy Birthday, Candle. How about mug?
It turns out her name was Kendall, but after hearing Candle a few times, I decided that she looked more like a Candle than a Kendall. And actually, compared to what celebrities call their kids, Candle isn't such a weird name. (Unrelated story: One time I was in Yankee Candle and saw a sign that said "Please Don't Eat The Candles.")
Anyway, I thought of the bizarre name thing again today after reading an article about a young girl in New Zealand who had to have her named changed by a family court judge. The name given to her by her parents was Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii, and the judge felt the name set her up with a social disability. The article didn't mention her last name but it really would have been another nail in the coffin if it was Weiner.
I don't know how I feel about this. On the one hand, kids can be cruel, and she'd probably have people doing the hula dance around her until she turned 19. I can see how that could get old. (Talk to poor Macarena Weiner. She never got over it). But on the other hand, no one would EVER forget her name. That's huge.
People are always forgetting my name. My parents--who named me--have trouble remembering. My neighbor, who I met probably 7 times before moving in here, and now see everyday while walking the dog, always introduces himself to me. What does my name have to be for you to remember that we've met 75 times? I have to say, Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii is looking pretty good.
And how many repeated names do you have in your cell phone? It's hard to tell people apart, right? No one will ever delete her from their cellphone after thinking to themselves, "Hmm, Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii...Did I meet her through work? Or was it at that party? The area code looks familiar, but I just can't think of who that might be. Talula...Hmm...Does The Hula...Hmm...From Hawaii...Nope, not ringing any bells."
The article said that the girl's new name wasn't made public because the court wanted to protect her identity. However, I saw a few reports online that said the judge overseeing the case was leaning toward Candle.