tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22589481.post115493941522901707..comments2023-10-21T08:48:51.586-04:00Comments on Open-Eyed Sneeze: The Mutes May Be Onto Something.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17677062737446067353noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22589481.post-1155060930431557912006-08-08T14:15:00.000-04:002006-08-08T14:15:00.000-04:00HA! OK, good to know.You seem to have a very healt...HA! OK, good to know.<BR/>You seem to have a very healthy sense of the order of bad things. <BR/><BR/>Well, thanks for being my lazy stalker. (If you knew me, you'd realize how hilarious it is that my stalker would also be lazy.)<BR/>But I'm afraid you're way funnier than me so maybe not check back so often, you'll start to get bored.<BR/>Trust me, that's how my active stalker finally stopped keeping tabs.<BR/>"On the sofa again?!! I'm outta here."Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17677062737446067353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22589481.post-1155036820561948332006-08-08T07:33:00.000-04:002006-08-08T07:33:00.000-04:00Really though, who is this?Just a bloke sat in an ...Really though, who is this?<BR/><BR/>Just a bloke sat in an office in London who hit ‘next blog’ and, totally at random, saw yours.<BR/><BR/>Sadly, there’s not much more to say than that. Believe me, the intention is not to tease - there’s nothing worse than a blogger comment tease (well, apart from getting your arm caught in a threshing machine, genocide or maybe impersonating a god). It starts of maddening, drops into background annoying and then just becomes creepy.<BR/><BR/>Thought to myself ‘funny blog’ and so now occasionally check to see what’s been posted.<BR/><BR/>Jesus…reading that last bit back does sound creepy…like a really lazy stalker. But that’s what blogs are for, aren’t they? Certainly, yours is funnier and more interesting than some of the ‘blogs of note’ that Blogger sees fit to identify.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22589481.post-1154974884056072192006-08-07T14:21:00.000-04:002006-08-07T14:21:00.000-04:00i want to know who anonymous is as well. but i'm ...i want to know who anonymous is as well. but i'm liking it all the same.<BR/><BR/><BR/>i'll call you from the train and we'll figure out where to meet.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22589481.post-1154968526694188032006-08-07T12:35:00.000-04:002006-08-07T12:35:00.000-04:00Right. So I'm in love with you.Hands down the most...Right. So I'm in love with you.<BR/>Hands down the most brilliant things I've heard in, um, forever.<BR/>-the pudding comment? HILARIOUS.<BR/>-Dustbin comment? Wildly amusing.<BR/>-And the examples of conversations?! Well, I've had those exact conversations and thought bubbles so it really put the feather to my ribs to read them.<BR/>The philosophical question of truth and honesty is spot on and I meant to bring that up. The idea that leaders here already seem to use taarof, and the entire nation of Iran is set on using it forever, leaves us little room for effective conversation about the Middle East situation when all it will be is both sides offering promises they have no intention to keep. <BR/>It's just overwhelmingly frustrating more than anything.<BR/><BR/>I'm with you on the social graces taarof of not insulting people but I'd hope that peace meetings and efforts to curb nuclear programs would employ some autistic-honesty. Perhaps beyond the "no YOU smell"-- but with Bush, there's no guarantee.<BR/>I'd like for a discussion of effective solutions to take place once in this administration that doesn't involve the metaphorical seahorse compliments. But maybe that's too much to ask.<BR/><BR/>But well done on the booze observation, I'm so right there with you. I've thought before that all UN meetings should take place on trampolines because people are more apt to shout out suppressed thoughts when attempting to scissor-kick 6ft in the air. Throw in a few pints and I think we're really talking about a venue for effective change.<BR/><BR/>Really though, who is this? Because I want to give you the other half of my best friend necklace.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17677062737446067353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22589481.post-1154945560082886862006-08-07T06:12:00.000-04:002006-08-07T06:12:00.000-04:00Sarcasm, like perpetually runny noses and consumer...Sarcasm, like perpetually runny noses and consumer longing, is something children develop alarmingly early. This is possibly because from an early age, they are looking for ways to be beastly to one another and the discovery that a barbed comment can have more of an impact than a ruler across the back of the knuckles is a genuine eureka moment.<BR/><BR/>Children, I have observed, appear to move directly from the ‘you smell’, ‘no - YOU smell’ bickering between siblings that, in the age before DVD players in the car was a good a way as any of whiling away a 7 hour journey, to entry-level sarcasm directed at parents instead. In the car they can get away with it because it’s quite hard to turn round and thump the brat in the back seat when maintaining a steady 90mph. At the dinner table it’s easier to punish such action and I know a few kids who will probably not know what pudding tastes like until they are in a position to buy it for themselves.<BR/><BR/>One lesson that the kids who developed Wildian wit the way that countries with mad leaders develop their nuclear programmes learn quick and early though, is that no matter how rapier like your wit, it will do you little good against the blunt instruments that are the kid currently pounding the snot out of you. It’s all very well being ironic, but if you’ve just been inserted into a dustbin, not many people are going to hear you.<BR/><BR/>As for honesty - does it exist on any level? Diplomats and politicians lie for a living, sometimes with honourable intention. The rest of us are just talented amateurs. People who tell the truth all the time are regarded as autistic. What we say and what we think are two different things entirely.<BR/><BR/>Friend: ‘What do you think of my tattoo?’<BR/>You: ‘Wow, it’s really lovely, very you. A lot of people have a butterfly or something, but that seahorse on your shoulder is different and individual. It suits you.’<BR/>THINKS: ‘You look like a whore.’<BR/>Friend: ‘It IS a butterfly’<BR/>You: ‘Oh!’<BR/>THINKS: ‘Fuck!’<BR/><BR/>And that’s just when we’re trying to be nice to friends. With loved ones, it’s even worse.<BR/><BR/>You: ‘Wow, you look great.’<BR/>LO: ‘Are you saying I’m fat?’<BR/>You: ‘What?’<BR/>THINKS: ‘What?’<BR/><BR/>Basically, we’re screwed because we’re conditioned as civilised creatures to live within the confines of a social order, not to give offence and be considerate of others. Add to this social stew the seasoning of paranoia that comes from living in a city and we haven’t got a hope.<BR/><BR/>Person in club you have been sort of nearly making eye contact with for the last hour: ‘Hi, would you like to dance?’<BR/>You think: ‘What? Are they doing this because they like me, or for some sort of twisted bet, or to get back at a partner, or maybe they’re drunk, or maybe I look hot tonight, I mean, this is a new shirt, okay…what did they want again?’<BR/><BR/>Which is why alcohol is the greatest invention ever. Sod sodium pentathol, down two bottles of a decent shiraz and you’re away!<BR/><BR/>Stranger: ‘Would you like to dance?’<BR/>You: ‘Hell yes!’<BR/><BR/>Yup, alcohol, the grease of any social occasion.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com